Seeds

Seeds of doubt grow
in the back of my mind
‘til I’m left with the thorny question
of why
me?
Why now,
in a picture-frame of glass
as I’m staring out
to a garden we never sat in,
do seeds sprout?
Why are there ladders,
why do they climb?
I’m riddled with weeds and these creeping vines
are prizing apart the bricks of a home
that’s not mine.
I’ll find one soon
when the only thing that’s left to do is grow
I’ll plant my roots and wait by a phone
for a call that might never come.
Why do I sing?
Why do I write?
Why does my blood turn to ink before I turn to wine
like when I read the letters that you never wrote?
You said all you needed was me
and I thought we’d last
but maybe we won’t.
We’re fickle young things
speaking their minds
about things we thought we know
well, we don’t
and I’m sad.
I’m sad for the promises we broke
beneath the stars and the moon
and the thistles we’ve sown
that we cut back on weekends.
I’m trying to speak
but thoughts wrap round my throat
like fumes in the street
I can’t breathe
and I choke.
And then I see you
and wonder,
why we cut them back on weekends.

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